GERALDO AND THE LION
by Carla May Harris
by Carla May Harris
Our university archaeology crew had been excavating a small site beside one of the major streams in the Rockies. The site was at the bottom of a wide canyon, heavily forested on the north side and grassy with a few bushes on the south facing slope. A steep trail with multiple switchbacks led down the south slope to our camp. The only access to the site and our camp was this hiking trail. We had brought everything down in backpacks.
One crew member, Geraldo, had hiked out that morning to our vehicles parked near the edge of the canyon high above. He drove the 30 miles to a small town to get groceries. We didn’t expect him to return until late afternoon. Geraldo was a happy-go-lucky guy with a friendly, helpful personality – a real asset to our crew.
We were on our knees, digging with our trowels when one of the crew said, “Here comes Geraldo.” We all looked up to see him on the second of five switchbacks. We could faintly hear the tune he was whistling.
Then someone said, “AhOh” and pointed towards the top of the trail.
A big mountain lion sauntered down the first switchback, following Geraldo!
Geraldo stopped, bent over and picked a wildflower, then held it up to his nose with a smile on his face. The mountain lion stopped too and cocked his head, watching Geraldo.
The big cat really didn’t look like it was hunting. It looked more puzzled and curious. It kept the same distance between them, and paused two more times when Geraldo stopped to examine a rock or another flower as he descended.
Torn between shouting a warning and scaring Geraldo and the cat, or just watching what seemed to be an innocent encounter, we all remained silent.
When Geraldo turned onto the last switchback, the cat glanced towards us and then spun around and bounded away.
Geraldo never saw the cat. And we never saw it again.
I wonder how often this scenario is repeated between curious mountain lions and clueless hikers in the mountains.
CMH
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THE OLD GERMAN SHEPARD
Tom Monteith
Senior Pastor
Pleasant Valley Baptist Church
3010 West Bijou Street
Colorado Springs, CO 80904
(719) 635-5811
The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with theold dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
TM
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the
If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
TM
